i want a new duck

i was thinking much of last week that i need some new outlet for expression. writing is too hard, electronics is unexpressive, i don't play any instrument, and poetry does not stand up to the test of time. and yet, i have much to express, which, given an outlet, might be swell to some degree or another.

and then, just to twist the knife a little, the night before last i was visited by a dream which contained an emotion so intense, pure, and beautiful that it has failed to fade completely, even today. sure, it was the same dream where my parents' dog nibbled on my toes, his removal requiring pointers from my mother, but that's how dreams go: a combination of the sublime with the ridiculous. you know, just like life.

sitting here listening to m83 paint moods, places, times, and souls on a canvas of pretension (ha! no, that's me, they paint on sound), i realize that it can be done. i think it can, that is. who is to say that what moods i receive from music are the moods intended by the artists?

i can express myself through the craft of beermaking, but that is a teutonic expression of order and imposition of will, not exactly the same deal as expressing a beautiful emotion from a dream.

i can take you on a scenic/thrilling bike ride that may invoke in you some of the same or similar emotions and moods that i get from cycling, or even from dreaming, but that sort of thing doesn't travel well, much less stand the test of time.

(m83's Car Chase Terror is campy, silly, and extremely creepy.)

anyhow, until i come up with something, i will have to remain a consumer of great art, rather than a producer.