empty carboy blues

i don't have any keg capacity, but i have 2 empty carboys and a whole bunch of beers that i need to make.

what am i to do? i keep on trying to drain the keg of black death, but the thing is fargen bottomless. it's been "nearly empty" for 2 months now!

meanwhile, i have 2 new kegs of pale ale, one of which has been on tap for a week, one of which should be drinkable tonight. drinking them won't help me drain my "nearly empty" keg!

i need to have some kind of party instead of keeping on going to other people's.