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August 8, 2007
to the extent
to the extent that i am spiffy
to the extent that i am something special, after my own particular...
idiom, sire!
... idiom,
i owe it to years upon years of repression and self-cloisterification.
my formative years, meaning all of them up until last year, and probably next year as well, were spent a-playing video games, where the greatest joy was the freedom to try things without consequence, on account of if they did not work out as planned, i could always restore (you did hit f5, right?) and try it a different way.
i've never been able to decide if the real world works that way. i dont know if i'll have another chance to try things a different way.
sometimes i wonder if i lived my earlier years on the assumption that when things began to really not work out, i'd get to hit f9 and try a different strategy.
...
to the extent to which i have grown (the extent of which, i think, is the extent to which i use the phrase "to the extent to which" so that i can avoid immodesty) i suspect i owe much of that growth to the acceptance and admission of the things i do not know.
to the extent to which i have grown, i suspect i owe the rest of that growth to the tightrope walk i do in my mind to stop caring about certain things without stopping caring about all things.
the exploration of whether this is a useful skill is, perhaps, the one worthwhile endeavour i have encountered.
aside from alliteration, that is.
and making beer.
...
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