February 2005 Archives

i just looked at my face in the mirror

and i didn't recognize me.

that's kinda weird.

no, that's really weird.

my face looks... thin. but i'm kinda gutulous these days. too much sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll.

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them." - Mark Twain

another attitude adjustment.

another way of viewing things.

there will have to be changes -- and they won't all be mine -- but that's the point.

i'm still not sure if i'm doing the right thing, but i believe that second chances -- not for her, not for me, but for this weird, wonderful, disembodied but living being called us -- can't be the wrong thing.

i hope that us lives happily ever after.

bones never did make much sense

but he sure cried a lot more than spock

another fork appeared in the road.

my unix machine at work told me this today:

Klein bottle for rent -- inquire within.

harharharharhar!

but still fargen hilarious, even moreso because he's serious.

the scary dude at the entrance. gaaaah!

an important public service announcement

how do they know?

these guys were fargen amazing. they played "drums" made out of sparkletts jugs and barstools and beat up tin pans. they really really rocked. sadly, their show lasted no longer than 15 minutes. the highlight of the fair.

you never see the fear
the sorrow
the loneliness that burns behind these eyes
a flash
a flicker
a glimmer of receding pain
only the vapors are for you
the world-weary sorrow
the ancient lethargy that threatens to drag me to an unwelcome grave
my melancholy eyes downcast
a listless frown 'neath a furrowed brow
these things you never see
they're with me when i'm not near you
but you drive them all away from me

arrived in PS at 2:30am

woke up today at 9:30

i think i'm through the coffee withdrawal, the headache is gone-ish

and now, let the fun begin!

after months and months of searching and trying, i finally found a spot where W can be tickled.

she's been tormenting me forever, because i'm easily ticklish. but she's not. i thought she was totally immune, until last night, when i stumbled upon her weak spot...

i was merciless, oh yes! she made sounds i'd never heard before and will never forget. i had to stop so she could catch her breath. har!

sadly, the ticklish spot vanished and by morning, she was once again unticklish, though i was clearly not.

sigh.

i miss her.

.

my head hurts.

tomorrow i'm flying. that ought to help.

well, i did outrun him. lost him somewhere on crystal springs road. but he and his pal FackinSoreLegs were waiting for me in the shower, and they jumped me when i reached for the soap.

ow.

i'm not lonely.

i've got this gigantic headache to keep me company!

let's see if it can run as fast as i can.

sigh.

feel crappy

plus, i had some water in my mouth, and some gum (first gum in a week+, my fake tooth is still attached, huzzah) and had to sneeze. i couldn't secure the gum and swallow the water quick enough, so i sneezed and the water went up thru the nasal passages.

feel the burn!

i realized something on the drive tonight.

i realize lots of things on the drive, and i remember some of them, sometimes, much to your dismay, dear reader.

i realized why i enjoy doing things like this: it is an attempt to create "the perfect day".

i am a creative person plagued by limited creative skills. i can't play any musical instrument but i've got this nagging suspicion i'd make a fine composer.

i can write reel gud but i have trouble thinking up stories.

i have the will to paint, draw, sculpt... but no talent.

so, always searching for an outlet for unharnessed creativity, i came upon day-building, ala groundhog day. and i found that it can be done.

i can create the perfect day -- or attempt to.

it's no fun (no challenge) to create a perfect day for myself. has to be for someone else.

it's not easy, but i'm guessing it's much more rewarding than composing a symphony.

at the very least, i don't have to be deaf to do it well.

on the way over from SM to OAK, in the pouring rain, i used my windshield wipers less than 8 times. that is to say, i got no more than 16 swishes the entire trip.

there is a finite amount of water that will stick to my windshield. i figure it is a better use of my time to learn to drive with that amount of obstruction than to constantly be flipping my wiper paddle or -- worse -- try not to be distracted by the fackin swishblargs.

i have a similar philosophy for dusting. better to acclimate to the dust than to have to remove it 2x a week.

no, that's not just an excuse to be lazy, okay?

took the 101-80 this time to get to oaktown.

did some doubletakes when i passed candlestick park, formerly sbc park, formerly candlestick park.

it's now "monster park"

wtf?

WTFF?

looked it up when i got to W's. yep, it's monster cable.

ugh.

ughblarg.

fecking commercialism.

hot dog?

got the sw trilogy dvd set the other day

now i finally appreciate what the fanboys have been saying all along: ESB is in a totally different class than ANH and ROTJ.

the ANH changes were just fucking lame. the jabba scene, the extra cgi monsters at mos eisley, greedo shooting first. they all look so forced and tacked on.

but that's nothing compared to rotj.

i never appreciated just how fucking lame the fucking ewoks are.

jfc.

and then, as if it wasn't bad enough that the ewoks are fucking lame - that the fate of an entire galaxy rests not in the hands of people who care like han and admiral "it's a trap!" akbar and that british lady from ESB but in the "paws" of some half-sentient midgets in teddy bear suits - george obviously REALIZED how fucking lame they are and tried to cover it up.

the ending USED to be the laughably lame ewok victory song: yub yab! yibba yubba! woobie woobie blib glab! sing along everybody!

now it's some pseudo-peruvian mountain music stuff, all "dignified" and solemn, showing people all over the galaxy boogying down to the groovy new freedom (most likely the same fuckwits that cheered and partied when the empire took over) brought to them, free of charge, by midgets in teddy bear suits.

and then

and THEN

as if all that wasn't enough

ghost-of-vader wasn't ghost-of-vader, it's some "i'm evil looking! look how i look down and at the camera at the same time! i'm gothic!" fuckwit, probably the same fuckwit that plays anakin in the new abominations, i can't remember.

gah.

i don't even really care about SW: obviously, if i cared, i would not have bought the dvds (i tried to resist, but you know how luke-ass has power over weak minds like mine). but this crap is so lame it just makes me mad.

argh!

time to simplify my life.

i quit.

there are a number of reasons.

1 - eliminate yet another possible contributor to the funky taste
2 - spend less time obsessing about beans and gear and whether i'll be drinking drip or espresso or turkish tomorrow
3 - less to carry on my trip home this weekend
4 - less time roasting and cleaning, more time for other stuff
5 - i need to quit every couple of months anyhow to enjoy the headaches, constipation, irritability, tiredness, and other withdrawal symptoms. i mean, i have all of those all the time, but it's just hard to appreciate them to their fullest when they are present for non-withdrawal-related reasons.

that's a funny way to look at it.

but after all, i've got a reputation to uphold.

like everything else in life, it's just a question of priorities.

my very first.

memory fades to feelings but blog entries retain their details. details :

i scheduled the day off to spend it with W. i hadn't planned to skip work on v-day, but i had had so much fun with W on her b-day that when she asked me to spend v-day with her, i was sorry i hadn't suggested it. i had only planned what to do for the evening (planning to work during the day) so i left the daytime festivities to W.

unbeknownst to W, but knownst to me and a select few others, the day before the day before (saturday) was spent gathering cards and (kinda lame) gifts and ingredients, and the day before (sunday) was spent doing laundry and running and roasting and watching part of ROTJ and running to the store for more sugar while leaving food cooking on the stove and partially preparing a valentine's day dinner of sausage risotto, slightly undercooked (though the sauces were all fully cooked, no food poisoning risk) valentine's lasagna (really undercooked and only slightly undercooked) (the hearts were a last second inspired addition - not part of the recipe!), and a gajar ka halwa for dessert (the office indians liked it, which was good, because i don't need to eat it and W didn't like it, so there was plenty left. we both thought there was way too much sugar, but the office indians said that's the way it should be ;)

in the morn after breakfast she got my card, which was more of the standard hallmark schlocky lovey stuff. i've got to stop it with those cards: i gave her basically the same card for xmas, birthday, and v-day. blah blah blah love you blah blah blah. i can do better myself without lining hallmark's pockets (not to mention the city of burlingame).

attached to the card was the material stuff : non-digestible, non-temporal gifts of matter: heart shaped temporary tattoos. i took 2 for me and left the rest for W.

talked a bit to the mom and the bro to wish them a happy v-day and get some musical info.

after that it was off to Tar-jay for some socks to protect W's tender ankles from her new ankle-high boots. she lucked out and didn't have to borrow some of my socks for the voyage because i had a pair of her flip-flops at my place. i checked for some mounting brackets for the PID (double sided tape is melting) but failed to find any good ones.

after that, it was off to pleasanton. we made decent time and headed toward downtown for some lunch. on the way i took a detour to drive by an old departed friend's house. house was still there, in good shape.

stopped at a pretty good italian-ish restaurant in downtown pleasanton. i got a little worried that W would order the lasagna or fill up at lunch or something, but i lucked out and she did neither. i'm not sure what i would have said had she ordered the lasagna. why did i risk it and go to an italian-ish place anyways? nothing much to choose from, and it was starting to rain.

after lunch, we made our way to the mall. by then it was really starting to rain pretty good. fortunately, W knew where to find covered parking. the entrance was through sears so i did a cursory and unproductive search for a mounting bracket. a couple hours later, having visited all of W's favorite stores, having at last found a couple gifts for her brother, having consumed a coffee-flavored-beverage, having found pocky but not pocky for men, having explained that i used to play lots of video games back when i was a single loser, having resisted the urge to buy some action figures and manga, having laughed at people less cool than us, having admired myself in multiple mirrors, having explained that i'm not the one of whom to ask "how do i look in this?" and having talked to some VIPs, we found ourselves again at sears, where a more thorough search turned up the same absence of a suitable mounting bracket.

after that, off to W's mom's house a couple minutes from the mall. her brother was there to happily receive his gifts, and W's mom had left W some b-day and some v-day gifts. she cracked open one of the romantic fortune cookies and we agreed that the fortune wasn't terribly romantic. the mylar balloon didn't join us for the trip back to SM, presumably because it didn't want to join W on her bart trip back to OAK.

speaking of trips back, after a bit of teevee and a bit of talking, our very own trip back drew near. W commented that I was acting as if i was bored and not enjoying my visit. not bored, i replied, just a bit labored of lung by the cig smoke in the apt. so we departed, out into the rain. W pulled her coat up over her head and looked very much like that monster from the bugs bunny cartoons. ho ho ho, so cute!

by then it was about 4:30 or 5, and the roads were slick and crowded. while i took care not to kill anybody on the road, W drew some landscapes in the journal her mom gave her for b/v-day. we also entertained ourselves with some silly-putty.

arriving at the west side of the SM bridge. W had announced that she'd completed what she wanted to do for the day and surrendered planning responsiblities to me. it was a bit early for dinner and home depot was more or less on the way home and i still didn't have a mounting bracket for my PID assembly, so we stopped there.

dodging raindrops, i ran in alone (sigh) for what should have been a quick stop. i located some suitable components, though nothing that absolutely tickled my fancy, and tried to self-checkout. the card reader's OS crashed and i had to get manual assistance from a guy that needed his own special kind of assistance. i emerged from the store to find two things: a very nice note on my carseat from W, and W's astonishing discovery that silly putty adheres quite solidly and messily to lance armstrong livestrong bracelets. ugh. and i think the bracelet is out of warranty, too.

i decided against common sense and took the freeway instead of facing stoplights on the city-street route back to my apt. i should have chosen the stoplights, the freeway was packed. after what seemed like hours, we finally arrived back home. W popped into the john, giving me my chance to take a quick refresher peek at the risotto recipe. when she returned, i announced ceremoniously that i would be cooking dinner, and we agreed that she would humor me and act surprised. i brought my dining table out from storage. it was the first time W had seen it, though the experience -- exciting as it must have been -- elicited no special reaction.

so i cooked up the risotto, which took about 30-40 minutes. i'd never made this recipe before but all went quite smoothly. toward the end, i popped the lasagna in the oven and put the halwa on very very low heat. somewhere in there i took breaks from stirring to set the table and put out the candles and wine glasses and such. finally, everything was done and i brought out the rice and the lasagna. i had spent much time trying to assemble a "valentine's day soundtrack" of mp3s for the dinner, but had never gotten very far due to the fact that i tend not to have a lot of "romantic" music. i had a couple albums in mind, but they were less than ideal. so i asked W if she wanted music or if i should just leave "family guy" playing on the TV that was next to the dinner table. we had a family guy valentine's dinner. W commented that she was glad to finally learn i could cook something other than eggs and oatmeal.

i explained the dishes and how i made them and what was in them and why risotto is harder to make than steamed rice or even fried rice. we finished off the bottle of cheapy wine that i had used to make the lasagna and risotto. it wasn't bad, but -- althouth i am a beer and coffee expert -- i have no expertise in the area of wine and am thus capable of enjoying crap wine in the same way that most people are capable of enjoying starbucks. the lasagna was still a bit under-warm. i had prepared it 90% the day before, leaving only the final bake for v-day. what the recipe didn't mention was that when you refrigerate it overnight, you need to bake it much longer than if you prepare it the same day you make the sauce and layer the pasta. i should have known that, but in my defense, i'm sorely out of practice in the kitchen.

W said she liked the rice and the lasagna, and said she'd never had lasagna like mine. i commented that that was because mine had a secret ingredient: not -- as she guessed at first -- semen, but looooove. heh. i offered to add the other next time, or even this time if she wished, but she decliend. i dropped a forkful of risotto when i tried to eat it a little too slick-ly. smoooooooove.

i cleared away some of the dishes and brought out the carrot dessert. W didn't like it -- too much sugar. i agree, but still ate all of mine ;) i suggested that we retreat to the couch, and after clearing away some more dishes and doing some minimal kitchen cleanup (leaving the bulk of the work for later (later when?)) i took my place on the leather.

she suggested that we watch a kung-fu movie, but first, she needed to put in some laundry so she'd have clean work clothes for tomorrow (i.e. today). my crown started hurting pretty good at this point, so i stopped by the kitchen for some advil to chase my allegra. then it was up the stairs to the laundry room, back down for some additional quarters, back up, and once more back down. we may have done that more than once, i'm not sure. the evening got a little hazy at that point. i fell asleep -- more or less. less, i guess, bess -- on her lap because the particular movie we watched takes too long to get up to speed. at some point i think i explained that the reason the lips were out of sync in ALL the languages the dvd had was that the actors all spoke different chinese dialects, so at filming time everyone just moved their lips however they liked and then the words were dubbed in at editing time. maybe i dreamt that instead of saying it, i dunno. i was tired and full of antihistamines, painkillers, alcohol, and lasagna, in addition to the crap that i'm normally full of.

later, her laundry finished (i guess!) and she woke me to go to bed (heh). i brushed my teeth, plugged her ipod mini into my computer to charge (argh, the next morning it wouldn't turn on. wtf? we haven't had time yet to diagnose it), changed into my PJ's, and that's where this narrative ends, except perhaps to mention that before falling to sleep again i uttered both of the following phrases: "let's try something different" and "well, that's not precisely what i had in mind, but i'm not complaining!". there followed a discussion -- using fingers as models of the human figure -- of whether what i had actually had in mind was physically possible, and we concluded that it was not.

perhaps the declaration of the narrative's end was slightly premature.

i dreamt of having my car impounded by corrupt police officers while visiting my parents. i had to fight them with knives down at the impound lot, which was located on a very narrow peninsula, because they had taken my car illegally and were framing me for something. much like the movie, things took quite a while to get up to speed, and i think i awoke before anything really interesting happend.

yesterday i didn't even have to use my AK
i gotta say it was a good day.

two more comment spams

man, wtf is the point anyhow?

email spam is bad enough, do these peckerheads really think blog readers are going to visit their shitty little casinos?

i really dont want email registrations or comment moderations here, i've gotta find an alternative.

someone on usenet referred to "bed bath & beyond" as "bad breath & beyond".

heh.

more comment spam

online poker

ugh. where is this shit coming from?

i'm "clean cut"

when did that happen?

ethiopian organic sidamo, as turkish coffee, with sugar and a hint of cardamom

it turns out (surprise!) that even with turkish coffee, freshness counts.

and, it also turns out: turkish coffee is the most efficient caffeine delivery system that i have yet found.

teepee for my bungholio!!!!

linky

example
example
example
example
example
example
example
example

okay, these are all great. just browse.

it's true

got me a parking ticket in burlingame.

got back to the meter maybe 5 minutes late. $25. my very first parking ticket. apparently, they'll block my registration if i don't pay it. this blows. why dont those bastards build a parking lot down there. it's hard enough to find a place to park without getting a mf ticket.

fack.

evening nookie does tend to be better than morning nookie.

wonder why?

done with dental work now, unless i have to go back for some high-point adjustments on the right-side fillings. some things i learned:

- my dentist, doctor fong, is not related to the Mr. Fong of Mr. Fong's Chinese restaurants, although he has been to the restaurants, even as a young kid growing up in the area. he says the quality has declined lately.

- i always thought i could stand up pretty well to torture. well, if the torture involved dental procedures, i guess i couldn't. i told doctor fong all about the defense plans for minos corva and he didn't have to ask twice. or once, even. and that was with the novocaine.

- something else that i have forgotten.

bloody hell!

the world's clumsiest coffee roaster dropped smokey's lid and chipped off a piece of the plastic near the chaff collector.

it was a non-fatal injury, apparently, and actually, it might improve airflow.

but it could have been really really bad.

i might try gluing it back on with some crazy super glue or something, but that might melt. bleh.

first lifting post in a while

first morning workout in forever

wasn't gonna have time tonight or next monday, and i couldn't end my "return to lifting" week with just 3 workouts, could i?

got in a solid workout including deads. gonna be hungry today. yum.

vienna or vienna-- roasted liquid amber
~48 hrs rest
very full LM double basket
staub-ish tamp, 20-30lbs tamp, polish
fine-ish grind
crotchless portafilter
22ish sec pour

omfg

i'm human

when did this happen?

god, this sucks.

one of the deleted posts was entitled "aunt ruby lives to die another day". i'll try to craft it a little better this time.

aunt ruby is 90+ years old. she's stubborn, old, cranky, old, forgetful, old, and an amazing person. she's independant, living alone for the past gazillion years. late last night she had a mini-stroke (i don't recall the technical term). it's not her first and it probably won't be her last.

aunt ruby doesn't like people fussing over her. she doesn't like people going to any trouble at all for her. she pays for all her meals on a separate check when my parents take her out to dinner, weekly. she argues vehemently when we offer to take her places, fearing that she'll inconvenience us.

she hates going to the hospital and she doesn't really trust doctors. part of this may be her age.

she's a walking, talking, real-life DNR order. it's hard to say whether this is because she feels she's gotten all there is to get out of life, or because she doesn't want to inconvience the EMTs and doctors that might have to save her. it really could be either one.

aunt ruby is not my aunt, she's my mother's aunt. aunt ruby's sister, my grandmother, is also still alive, but suffers from what amounts to -- but is not, for whatever it's worth -- alzheimer's.

over the past decade, i've had to form an opinion on such things as quality of life, DNRs, ethical aging, and so forth. my grandmother has often said that she's "in god's waiting room" or that she's "ready to go". she can't seem to form new memories. we can -- and often do -- have the same conversation with her 10 times in as many minutes. my mother takes care of both of them. my grandmother now often says that she's the baby and my mother is her mother.

i can sense that both of them are ready to go, and because of this, i don't think i will be sad for them when they do. i can't understand what it's like to be that age, with decaying faculties, fully or almost-fully dependant on others just to make it from day to day. one day, though, if i live long enough, i will understand it.

so in the interim, until i can understand the urge to cease life after having nearly a century of it, i will have to take their word on the subject, and respect their wishes. when they go, i think i won't be sad for them -- not in the same way i was sad for my grandfather or his son (my mother's brother) or his son (my cousin) or my dad's brother and parents, who were all robbed of life at early ages.

aunt ruby could probably live well into her hundreds, but i don't think she wants to. when she goes, it may well be by choice, a choice that is not extended to many -- certainly not to many of my relatives. choosing to die at my age, in my good health, is selfish and sad. choosing at aunt ruby's age and health is quite another thing.

i'm glad she decided to remain with us for a bit longer. and when -- if -- she chooses otherwise, i can be glad that she had that choice, and not begrudge her that decision which -- thankfully -- i cannot now understand.

where do we go now?

ask again in 45 minutes, axl, and the answer is easy:

lunch

i crossed a line today and i'm sorry.

maybe my reasons were simple, but to me they seem complex.

but reasons and words never matter, only actions matter.

i'm sorry. my actions will show it.

that's two posts i've deleted in the past 24 hours.

self censorship sucks.

even worse is failure to make a coherent point.

right?

ha ha ha.

the gums are doing better, thanks for asking. much better.

in fact, i think they'll be pristine by friday afternoon, when the good dentist will once again tear into them.

huzzah.

i'll just flip the switch

it really is that easy.

terry gross says "heeeestory"

she always says "heeeeeestory"

terry gross is god.

... of narrow focus.

work at work.

no more distractions.

get in, get shit done, and get out.

just like the good old days.

we'll see if/how it goes.

i'm torn.

i guess that's the nature of the beast.

what to do?

i am still and forever answering the question of life, and i'm having a bit of trouble with one variant:

am i the sort of person who shares all his problems, or keeps them to himself?

before, that was a no-brainer: obviously i was the latter, since i had no-one with whom to share all my problems, though i could share most of them with the parents.

now, though, i have someone wonderful with whom i can - if i want to - share all my troubles.

but do i want to?

i have no problem whining about my problems in writing, but when asked in person "how are you?" i'm strongly motivated to say "fine", regardless of whether i am fine.

(this may be a subtle point. it seems obvious to me, but that's because i'm me. i'm a different character on paper than i am in "real life", and i really don't plan to merge the two any further than i already have. i talk about different things in writing than verbally. i'm smarter and punnier on paper. those wanting to know me have to suffer through both my writing and my physical presense to get the full picture. my apologies.)

right now, i'm kind of headachy, there's somewhat of a scar near the tooth with the crown, my nose is a bit clogged from allergies, my mouth hurts, the funky taste is going strong, there's an unidentified thing on my tongue that's waiting for insurance clearance to get a biopsy, i'm behind in my work at work (well, that's normal for everyone there), i'm behind in my work at home, i'm way behind in my weight loss goals, my weight lifting goals, and my language goals, i still can't play guitar, i'm worried about next monday, next week, next year, and the next five minutes, there's something i'm supposed to do but i can't remember what it is, i'm sore from monday and pissed off about it because i shouldn't be, i don't see any chance to run this week, i'm paranoid that my crown is about to fall off and send me into convulsions of pain, i'm worried i'll say the wrong thing to W, i'm late for work, i can't think of what to do for dinner, i wish i could chew some gum, i wish i had a softer fruit for snack than an apple, i dreamt last night but the dreams weren't pleasant, i slept well but i slept alone, i'd like to go out for beers with oregon guy but i haven't got the time and i'm once again scared of alcohol, and there are a million other things on my mind that won't let me alone.

but if you came up and asked me how i'm doing, i'd say "oh, fine."

maybe if my arm fell off or a tooth popped out or a nail gun fired off into my skull i'd say i was feeling a bit down, but otherwise i'm "just fine".

so what of it?

i think it comes down to: i don't want to burden people with my problems. it doesn't make them go away (the problems, not the people). it's not that i want to pretend i have no problems, it's that i have too much perspective to think that my problems are of any consequence.

of that whole long whiney list, there are only a couple of things that bother me anymore (headachy? allergy-y? still fat? worried about the future? boooooooooring). i'm used to most of them, and deal plenty well with the others.

but the problem is this:

when i tell people that i'm "just fine" but "don't feel like doing ________", the two bits of info don't jive. if i'm fine, why don't i want to _______? okay, well, technically i'm not "fine", but i'm not bad enough to whine about it anywhere but in writing. and i think that confuses people.

so, it's a communication problem, inherited from my Y chromosome perhaps.

what am i going to do about it?

i don't know... maybe nothing. it's too soon to tell whether the problems created by not being a whiney little bitch are worse than the ones i'd have if i was a whiney little bitch.

one thing's for sure, though:

i need to get to work.

tha lizzle

.

well, at least it rhymes...

my mouth hurts.

my parents and my ear on bart:

how not to zoom:

i'd hit it:

obligatory gg pic:

more of CA's most recognizable landmark (besides the governator):

duayne johnson:

W taught me how to do this:

long walk, short pier:

indiana jones speaks a lot of languages.

me getting a mold taken for a crown.

had to get a crown because my old amalgam filling was coming apart and there wasn't enough tooth left for a refill.

while i was there, i also got 2 other fillings, and am scheduled for 2 more when i get the crown finished this friday.

i asked the dentist what i could do besides brushing twice daily (which i do) and flossing daily (which i do).

he said maybe a $120 electric toothbrush would help, and some prescription flouride toothpaste.

sigh.

then the hygienist complimented me on how nice my teeth are.

what????

in berkeley

because i wanted to, not because i had to.

from a salon article on vasectomies:

It takes approximately 20 post-surgery ejaculations before sperm are cleared from the semen so couples temporarily have to use backup contraception.

um. um....

/me giggles.

you know what i'm giggling about.

"couples temporarily have to use backup contraception"

heh.

on a less giggly note, the article ends thusly:

Moran is all about keeping an open mind. "Even if I somehow changed my mind, there's always adoption," he says. "There are plenty of kids just waiting for parents." That, he believes, is the beauty of reproductive choice.

Bingo.

finally got back to the gym last night after a crazy-ish week of entertaining W and my visiting parents.

didn't want to go in but made myself do it anyhow. decided it's time to switch to a full body workout, and to get back to regular deads.

then, this morning i got up at the buttcrack of dawn to visit my dentist for 2 fillings and a crown (which involved removing an old mercury amalgam filling, yum).

so now i'm freaking sore. even my gums hurt. yay.

okay, these are fun.

You Have an Active Ass!

Hey, you're not a slut.
You just like it up the butt.
Get that ass over here,
And take it up the rear.

What Ass Do *You* Have??
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

-------------------------------

You Are Mango Flavored Lube!

Exotic, unconventional, and sultry.
You are the flavor most likely to speak a foreign language during sex.
You are the flavor least likely to be considered boring.

Sound yummy? Get Mango Flavored Lube Here :-)

What Flavor Lube Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

-----------------------------------

You don’t need a boyfriend; all you need is a good vibrator.

It’s not that you hate men.
It’s not that you’d even object if one walked into your life tomorrow.
It’s just that you don’t feel an aching need to have a clueless dork with hairy armpits around, trying to cop a feel.

Your needs – and you do have them – can be met very well by a good battery-powered dildo.
FYI, it’s illegal to sell such things in some states.
And no surprise, this is the most illicit sex you've experienced in a while!

Do You *Need* a Boyfriend?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

---------------------------

Your Freaky Fetish Is Formicophilia!

Otherwise known as, stimulation from crawly things.
Usually worms, snails, snakes... on your most private areas
Spread on the honey, to attract these slithering fiends
For you, size truly does not matter.

What's Your Freaky Fetish?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

--------------------------------------

For God's Sake - Don't Pose Nude

Forget about not having the goods to pose nude - you don't have the confidence either.
You probably won't be happy with the final result, and there's no taking it back.
If you still want a self esteem boost, get some arty nudes done by a professional
But keep them to yourself and your sweetie, until you hit the gym a little harder

Should You Pose Nude... Or Keep It To Yourself?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

------------------------------------------

You Should Stay Straight

Nope, no gay tendencies to you at all
Except that you decided to take this gay quiz
You may secretly wonder if you could get it on with another guy
Only if all the women died off - or if you were in prison for life

Should You Go Gay?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

--------------------------------

You have a completely healthy attitude regarding sex.

You're smart, strong, and you know that sex is not just a physical thing, but an emotional thing as well.

However, you have no baggage or hang-ups and appreciate sex for what it is.

Go you!



What's Your Relationship With Sex?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

-----------------------------------------

i think this one was supposed to be for the chicks, but i took it anyway.

yes, I chose these:

Hoochie-mama skin-tight shorts with my ass hanging out.

the result:

-------------

Your sex is like R&B!

Is there anything like getting freaky with Barry White's deep, sexy voice purring in your ear and raising up the heat?

For you, sex is about sensuality, passion, and indulging yourself in making sweet, sweet love all night long.

You savour every sensation, and every love-making session is likely to leave you sweaty, exhausted, and spent.

Some might call you hedonistic and self-indulgeant, but they're probably the same ones who have scheduled sex every Tuesday night at ten on the dot, missionary position only--they don't understand the joys and ecstacies of sex the way you do!




What Type of Music is Your Sex Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

-------------

W wanted to get a shot of me while i was driving.

enjoy.

i finally figured out what to do when i've reached the end of my espresso beans and there's too much for a double shot but too little for two (i never pull singles, haven't even tried once, i don't think - it's a double, a double ristretto, or a sink-shot).

use the La Marzocco triple filter that came with my crotchless portafilter!

yeah!

so i had just about enough for a triple. dose, tamp, lock, load, pull.

it was much mellower than the double i'd made a bit earlier. using SM's moka kadir leads to a potent cup, but this was smoothed out and understated. not bad, not great, but at least i didn't waste any beans!

they canceled that travesty of a trek, "enterprise".

i barely noticed this browsing belatedly through mefi.

havent watched it in a couple o years.

what? you think i'm not a trek fan?

you haven't seen my dvd collection, have you?

you haven't challenged my encyclopedic knowledge of both trek trivia and futurama-trek-joke trivia, have you?

you think you're a bigger fan than me?

my 600 quatloos say otherwise.

yarrrr, we know it isn't "frisco", mateys.

busy busy busy.

folks are in town.

yesterday they met W and W met them.

i was a little nervous, since all my bad traits (as well as my good ones, to be fair) are inherited from my dad, and the folks have as much experience interacting with my girlfriends as i have experience having girlfriends (i.e.: none). at the end of the day, my dad claimed he was tired from being good all day. heh heh.

to my delight, it went off amazingly well. my mom says W is "adorable", with which I agree wholeheartedly. and without her (W), we would have gotten terribly lost in SF, oy!

i mumbled something to W on the bart back yesterday: i didn't realize until yesterday that it was important for my folks to like her. it was kind of unexpected, but as it became obvious that they do like her, it was a really nice feeling.

i've got a good friend who is pulling his hair out because he's afraid his parents disapprove of his gf. he lives with his folks, she lives 10 minutes from them, and they've never met in the 6+ months they've been together. i wasn't afraid that my parents would "disapprove" or be nasty or something, but...

i guess i worried they'd be just kinda "meh" about her. but no, they were "four thumbs up!" as far as i could tell. just as i'd be, if i had four thumbs, but i have to settle for "two thumbs up!"

like love, it's a feeling that's tough to describe.

it's as if everything is right in the world, when your parents get along with your girlfriend. a harmonious intersection of two happy universes.

i guess this wasn't a "quickie", just a "disorganized-ie".

kincaid's == skates on the bay!

http://www.r-u-i.com/pdf/menus/Kincaids-Burlingame-Dinner.pdf

http://www.r-u-i.com/pdf/menus/SkatesOnTheBay-Berkeley-Dinner.pdf

only difference is the berkeley tax on the items, everything is slightly more expensive at skates...

i think i remember why i switched from claritin to allegra lo these many months ago:

claritin drools, allegra rools.

well, even allegra sucks, but suckes less than claritin.

or, maybe i'm just under the weather. it's either lack of sleep, as usual, or cancer.

goodbye, cruel world.

goodbye, cruel paperclips.

goodbye, cruel keyboard.

goodbye, cruel notepad.

goodbye, cruel mouse.

yesterday i didn't even have to use my AK
i gotta say it was a good day

aside from not using my AK, here are the things that we did:

- sprung my first gifts on W: a nonstick egg pan and a heat-resistant spatula, + a card that said, in a custom-crafted poem by yours truly, "don't hate me, there will possibly be better gifts later on"
- had a swell brekky of scrambled eggs and chicken apple sausage and oatmeal + coffee for me, of course
- decided on where to go for dinner, looked up directions for all our stops
- finally got around to leaving
- had lunch at Jersy Joe's in RWC (represent beeeyotch!). yum, philly cheesesteaks
- busted out with more gifts: a little hand-carved pillbox with a heart on the front and an "i love you!" inside. awwwwww. plus some little metal stones that said "joy" and "tears" in both english and japanese. why "joy" and "tears"? that's between me and W, yo ;)
- vroomed on down to san jose Fry's, which i thought i'd never visited, though it turned out to be my second time. W returned some stuff, then we walked around and failed to find star wars on dvd and she pointed at the ipods and said she'd like one and i said something like how they're too expensive and out of stock or something. heh.
- not willing to leave the store empty handed, we left with 2 eggs of silly putty, one astronaut ice-cream bar, and 2 packs of astronaut ice-cream neapolitan style. yum!
- ate some ice cream. she was a little creeped out because it wasn't cold. i dug it, brought back memories of space camp. ahhhh, space camp.
- headed on down to the rosicrucian egyptian museum. it were my second visit, but that place rules, so i didn't mind. W reads way faster than me. since the last time i'd been to the REM, i have studied up on ancient egypt and recognized some of the names. tragically, most of what i'd studied has evaporated from disuse, so recognition was as far as it went. so it goes.
- finally got done with that, looked at some cheesy rosicrucian art, and went outside to eat the astronaut ice-cream-sangwich. too much ice cream in one day. ugh.
- drove on up to lick observatory. oops. bad idea. drive was longer than i remembered. hilltop was colder than i rememebered. view was lamer than i rememebered. then i rememebered : last time i was here i decided not to return. oooooooooops. i told W to look at the bright side: i was going to take her there eventually, now that's no longer on the todo list.
- then it was off to dinner at On The Border, where i mixed my exit to the 237 but made it on later. once we got there, W realized that she could order a margarita all by herself. i thought that's why she had picked the place ;) imho, it's no fun unless they card you, which they didn't. the final gift bag came out at this point, and she was genuinely surprised to find that it contained an ipod mini + a mushy card that said how i really felt.
- after dessert (holy the crap that was a rich brownie) we went looking for ipod mini cases, and failed to find any good ones. then it was back home to try the dingus out (it's neat! unless you don't like itunes...) and at last, off to bed for some closing remarks.

ho hum.

it went well, i think.

i made a bad choice or two, but i'll cut myself some slack since it was my first time.

when all was said and done (well, a little before all was done ;) i got major props for my efforts. that was nice.

that was really nice.

i've never before spent a whole day trying to make someone feel loved. it was a fantastic way to spend a day.